Martin 'the hook' russell

Likes: Throwing up on girls

Manhood: Hook shaped

School: Private 

Enjoys: Getting changed in toilets

Hates: Stealing, robbers and laptop thieves

Martin is one of the nicest and polite members on the football club but changes after a few drinks or when on the football pitch. Martin was known as 'terminator' after his first training session where he broke three peoples legs. One of his finest moments came one night after the dick show when he engaged onto a lady and went for the kill, moments later...... he was throwing up all over her. Terminator has an unfortunate defect involving his penis. This occured after an unfortunate masterbating act back in his youth. It all started one Thursday afternoon in Sunderland when Martin came home from school and thought that he was the only person in his house. He decided to relieve himself after a hard day with his legendary double handed pump action pistol. It was not long to Matrin's horror before his mother walked in. Martin jumped out of bed hit his penis against the wall and suffered a penile fracture.

What are the symptoms of penile fracture?

• A 'cracking' noise.
• Pain.
• Bruising.
• Immediate loss of erection.

Bleeding from the urethra may occur if the urethra is damaged. He is reminded of this injury everyday by the unusual shape of his purple headed wound ferret.