david 'ghandi' critchley

Driving: Schumacher/ Naseem Hamed

Sex preferences: Like going down!!

Chat up device: Semi ON! 

Preparation for driving: Stella, whiskey, special brew or gin. 

Achievements: Completing Pokemon

 Pre season                                                                                             Post Season

Critch came to university a chubby centre back with long Beatles like hair (pictured above the evolution of Critch's hair styles). It was not long before Critch transformed himself my losing five stone in one week. He did this by going on his famous bread and water diet and running from Alsager to Liverpool and back every morning before lectures. To complete his tranformation he visited the famous Dad's n' Lad's barbers in Alsager to chop his locks and show off his new "Crewe cut". Dave has an addiction with viagra and has abused himself with the drug. He has taken so many over the years now Critch has a permanent semi on. It is feared that if this abuse of viagra continues he will suffer from Permanent Stiff Penis Syndrome (PSPS). His housemates think that the viagra has already taken it's toll and Dave is changing into a raging randy scouser. One was quoted as saying "Critch is so randy that he told us that if we watched a porn dvd he would have to touch one of us!! (~#-=*><, 2006). This housemate could not be named as he feared for his anal virginity. Now Dave is trying to relieve himself of sexual fustrations by drink driving to relight a similar buzz. Dave has been seen reversing in Porsches and BT vans then escaping the scene and it is feared that this is his new hobby. Only time will tell.

Time has passed and it is clear to see that Dave has forcefuly stopped both of his addictions to drink driving and to his viagra... The viagra problem has been stopped by having several trips to London on late Saturday evenings to see a 'lady' to relieve himself inside of her! His drink driving problems have been painfully cured by leaving his car in MMU Cheshire's Main Car Park, the car has been left there since October 2006 and is still there to this day! Dave regularly travels to the car late at night to ensure it is resting safe, ready for the return of its dangerous ways!